Tag: Moving Home

This month’s guest blog is written by Rosalind Furlong, a professional photographer, who captures people and memories for a living and shares here how she wishes she had dealt with her children’s memories.  

My name is Rosalind and I am a hoarder. I’m not quite sure how it started. Perhaps it was being brought up by parents who lived through the deprivation of the second world war and who took the attitude that something might just come in useful someday. Maybe it was watching Blue Peter as a child and realising that an empty box or toilet roll tube might turn into some beautiful and functional object that would last a lifetime, if only I had some sticky-backed plastic. Or perhaps it was just a desire to hold onto things as I grew up, so that I could remember the past better.  

If I hadn’t married and had children I think I would have been a prime candidate for ’Britain’s Worst Hoarder’ but as it is, all my clutter gets shoved into my study and friends always comment on how tidy my house is; the study door is firmly shut. Fortunately, my now-adult children have not inherited my hoarding tendencies, although I am aghast when they want to throw out what had once been treasures. However, as my husband so helpfully says, if you keep everything, you keep nothing. I have boxes of assorted memorabilia from my life but have not inspected them for years. They just sit, cluttering up the giant cupboard he gifted me to accommodate my hoard.  

Some years ago when the children were little I realised I simply couldn’t manage to keep every last babygro, every little dress, every toy train. It became clear that it was not the object per se that I needed, but just the memory of the object, and so before any of their childhood possessions left the house for the great charity shop in the sky (OK, high street), I photographed them.  

This obviously became its own chore – bags of clothes would sit for months before I summoned up the energy to go through them and photograph them. But this I did and now, nestled somewhere on assorted hard drives which house my professional photography, is a ton of photos of their clothes, their teddies and the rest of their toys. The photos aren’t artful – I didn’t have time for that. They are just a record. Incidentally, while I was typing that last sentence my husband came into my study and picked up a couple of badges I’d saved from a recent throw-out by the kids. ‘Why are you keeping this Team GB badge?’ he asked. ‘Why are you keeping the junior ranger badge?’  I don’t know, but perhaps they will become treasured possessions of our great-great-grandchildren. Although I suspect our kids will have chucked them out long before then. Anyway, back to the photos… 

So there they are, sitting on the hard drives; someday, some day in the future when I have simply nothing else to do, when my endless to-do list is finally all done, I will go through the photos and make a book of each of my children’s possessions, and hopefully that will be the thing that their great-great-grandchildren will treasure.  

Now, of course, I realise that this wasn’t the best way to record the objects – just a toy or a dress sitting on the ground. I should have taken more photographs of the children – of them in their clothes, of them playing with their toys, of them snuggled in their beds with their teddies. When children are little it’s hard to imagine a day when they won’t still be little. There’s always tomorrow to take the photos. Or the day after that. But suddenly they’re grown up and  even I,  a professional photographer, realise that I didn’t take nearly enough photos of them. Their toys and teddies and dresses are gone, their bedrooms are adult bedrooms, their childhood is over, packed away into the cupboards of our memories. Photos are all we have. Take photos. Lots of them. Not just of your children, but your partner, your parents, your friends, anyone you love. Anyone you might lose. Those photos will be your great-great-grandchildren’s treasured possessions. And if you don’t know how to take good photos, ask me and I’ll do it for you. 

If you would like to find out how Rosalind can capture all your memories, you can find her at https://www.rosalindfurlong.com/ and 07786 512492. 

When I was 10 years old, my parents got divorced.  My dad, like many men, kept many screws, nuts, bolts, etc, ‘because they might be useful’.  We moved to a more suitable home and I suggested to my mum that the shed-full of these items wasn’t needed – my father had moved abroad, so wasn’t going to take them himself.  She insisted they came with us.  20 years later, she downsized, to a flat.  No shed.  How many times had those screws come in useful?  Although I can’t tell you exactly, I’m pretty sure it was fewer than the number of fingers on one hand.  And so out they went.  

Everyone keeps things ‘because they might be useful’. But it is good to really think about how often that might actually be the case, or whether really, especially as you get older,  you wouldn’t use so many DIY items; maybe you would be more likely to get someone in to do the work for you,  who would bring their own tools, etc. It might be worth questioning your use of dinner services, tea sets and other items for entertaining. As you downsize you are less likely to have people round for dinner, and you are already at a point where you prefer others to do the catering for you.   

If you need help deciding how many milk jugs and vases you should keep in your downsize, do get in touch with us and we’d be glad to help.  

Some people find the act of decluttering simple, and some find it very difficult.  It can be a bit like baring your soul to a counsellor – difficult at first, but rewarding as you spend more time doing it, and something that will open you up to new possibilities at home and in your life as you let go of your ‘stuff’. 

When we are decluttering with clients, we find that we are operating in a similar role to that of a counsellor.  We hear  so much about clients’ memories, both good and bad, and about their families and their families’ experiences.  It can really help to talk about these things to help process memories and allow items to be given away and rehomed.    Memories can be fun, or they can be a reminder of painful times, and sometimes talking about those difficult memories are the most important in helping you let go of items. 

If the idea of talking to someone about your life or getting them to help you in your home seems tricky, then one easy way to start decluttering, is to implement the ‘one in one out’ policy.  If you buy a book, give away a book you already own. If you buy a new dress, give away a dress you own.  If someone gives you a candle, give away (or quickly use!) a candle.  If they give you a mug, give away a mug.   People don’t know that you’ve given away something they gave you.  If it gave you pleasure when you received it, it’s done its work and you can let it give someone else pleasure now. 

To help other people minimise their clutter, when you give presents, give people experiences (theatre, a meal out, a cinema ticket) or things that are consumable (food, drink, flowers).  There are many subscriptions you can get for  consumable gifts. 

If you need help to make a start, either by having a declutter plan or having someone be with you, do get in touch and we can book in an exploratory call.