Did you know that your fire brigade isn’t just there to help you when there’s a fire or a road incident? They also help with fire prevention advice. Fire brigades offer a home visit to make sure you are safe in your home. Check with your local fire station to see what they offer. As well as tips on fire safety the visit may include fitting smoke or heat alarms, and they can also fit specialist alarms for those who are hard of hearing which include strobe lights and vibrating mats under your pillow.
Fire brigades also need to know if there is a hoarding issue in order to be able to respond appropriately in the case of an emergency and to protect neighbouring properties.
If you would like to know whether your home is as safe as it can be, you can use this online fire safety check, which takes you through your home room by room. Even if you think you are fire safe, it is worth going through it: https://www.safelincs.co.uk/hfsc/
Getting older can be a bit annoying. If you have osteoarthritis, you can lose your grip; if you have declining eye sight, you can’t see things as clearly; and your balance may have started to falter. So here are some easy things that might help you:
Get a small rubber mat or a plastic gripper tool to help you open jars and things. Often turning it is still hard but if you push a little to the right with the gripper and to the left with your other hand, it can become really easy.
Use a lazy susan in a cupboard so you can get to all your bottles and jars when it becomes harder to reach for things.
If you use shower gel in the shower but handling the bottle is tricky, get a pump action top. Or if you still like soap, put it in a thin sock, which will make it much easier to grip.
Shower caddies that hang over the taps or levers might save you from slipping if that stops you reaching for stuff. Even better, if balance is an issue do make sure you have grip handles installed and also a shower seat.
If you can’t always see remote control buttons then you can put a dot of nail varnish on the ones you want to use. In fact, nail varnish is great for marking keys too, so if you are always fumbling between two that look similar, use nail varnish on one of the keys.
Another thing that works for the remote control is to get someone to put masking tape over all the buttons you don’t use, and you can then see the ones you need much more easily.
Get rid of all your rugs – they are the worst trip hazard ever!
If you have an Alexa you can set medication and other reminders. If you don’t, you can use your smartphone. I’ve done these for years!
We hope you’ve found these useful, and if you need a hand with setting up any of the above, let us know, we can help.
I’ve found it necessary to rent an office twice during the 21 years of having my own business. On the first occasion I needed space for staff, and on the second my home just didn’t have room for a desk. However, much more of my work now is done at my clients’ homes, and my own home can now accommodate a desk.
Having an office at home, whether you work for yourself, are employed, or need a dedicated office space when you are retired, can become a dumping ground for papers and such like. I find I become unproductive if I have too much around me. It can be hard to keep on top of as I’m constantly bringing things back that I am sorting for other people, but it is totally worth being on top of it, for the ‘zen’ feeling it gives you.
The lovely people at Brother (who make printers and who have very good customer service I may add!) have come up with a list of five things to help you be more comfortable and productive, so have a read here:
Not heard of a digital will? A digital will is an inventory of your digital assets. It can form part of a normal will or be a side letter. It is really important to have a note of all the passwords that your loved ones will need to access documents you have created and online accounts you have; also for them to be able to use your social media to let people know you have died, and even to find the location of precious photos and documents that might be required.
You can create a document with passwords listed but this isn’t very secure. You could create it, password protect it and just give your lasting power of attorney/s and / or executors the password. Or you could print it out and tell them where you have hidden it. If you have a password locker then you can nominate someone who, in the event of an emergency or loss of life, will get access. For the one I use, they don’t have to have an account themselves at the point of nomination, but to get access they will need to have an account. This really is the most secure way of handing your passwords over to someone else.
To access your loved one’s social media you may very well need to have the password. Some social media accounts have a legacy option (like Facebook), but you need to nominate someone to be the legacy contact in order to do that. Instagram doesn’t have this option, but you can apply to memorialise or remove the account. LinkedIn works like Instagram in this way. So with the latter two, you can do this with a death certificate and don’t need to have the password, unless you wanted to put a final few posts up for contacts to see.
It might be annoying gathering everything together but it will save so much time for your loved ones when they are grieving, so it is a very kind thing for you to do for them. We wholeheartedly recommend spending time doing this.
This month’s guest blog is written by Kayane Watson, a certified Thrive Coach, exploring how to deal with the overwhelm of caring for elderly parents.
Do you often find yourself overwhelmed by the emotional demands of caring for an elderly parent while struggling to meet their expectations?
Caring for an elderly parent is a profound act of love and commitment, but it might come with challenges that can leave you feeling drained, frustrated, or even at times guilty. Many adult children find themselves caught between fulfilling their parent’s needs and managing their own lives, unsure of how to balance everything.
Looking after an elderly parent can evoke a range of emotions: from guilt when you can’t meet all their expectations to resentment when their demands feel overwhelming. It’s common to experience emotional fatigue, especially when juggling caregiving responsibilities with work, family, or personal needs. You might feel isolated, as though no one truly understands the weight you carry. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings without judgment—they’re a natural response to a challenging situation.
Establishing boundaries with your elderly parent isn’t just about protecting your time or energy; it’s about preserving the relationship you have with them. Without boundaries, resentment can build, leading to tension and misunderstandings. Clear and compassionate boundaries help both you and your parent understand what is realistic, ensuring that everyone’s needs are considered. It’s not about saying “no” to them; it’s about saying “yes” to a sustainable relationship where care is balanced.
Here are some practical tips and advice to get you attuned with your emotions and feelings as well as gradually building a healthier boundary with an elderly parent;
Practice emotional awareness: Take time to reflect on your feelings. Journaling or speaking with a trusted friend or a professional can help you process the emotions tied to caregiving.
Communicate openly and kindly: Use “I” statements to express your needs without blame. For example, “I feel stressed when I receive last-minute requests. Can we plan together ahead of time so we’re both prepared?”
Set clear limits: Decide what you can and cannot do. Be honest with yourself about your capacity and communicate these limits to your parent.
Learn the power of constructive “no”: Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. For instance, if a request is beyond your ability, you could say, “I’m unable to do that, but let’s find someone who can help.”
Focus on self-care: Make time for activities that recharge you—whether it’s exercise, hobbies, or simply enjoying a hot drink without distractions. Your well-being is essential to providing effective care.
Seek support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from other family members, friends, or professional caregivers. Caregiving doesn’t have to be a solo journey.
Here’s a powerful reminder to inspire and ground you:“I am doing my best, and that is enough. By caring for myself, I am better able to care for my parent.”
Remember, caregiving is a journey of love and dedication, but it’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. By doing so, you’re not only ensuring a healthier relationship with your parent but also preserving your emotional and physical health for the long term.
If the above resonates and you would like some help, you can get in touch with Kayane at linktr.ee/thrive.with.k Kayane helps people who struggle with stress, anxiety, depression and phobias, live better by teaching them how to thrive in life by taking them through The Thrive Programme. Anyone can thrive when they understand how they can be mentally stronger, resilient and in control of their emotions. Everyone has the ability to create and live the best life possible.
It’s Valentine’s day today and so we would like to wish you love and kindness.
On February 17th, in just a few days, it is National Random Acts of Kindness Day. No coincidence that these two dates fall within a few days of each other. Last year the Evening Standard gave us a fabulous list of ideas you could do on this day and we thoroughly endorse all of them. You can have a read here.
If you can do one of those things for an older person in your community that would be even more special. Helping a neighbour is definitely something you could do as a one-off, or even on a regular basis. Or why not volunteer to help members of your community as there are so many organisations that need help from people. You can still do random acts of kindness in addition to regular acts of kindness!
Some people find the act of decluttering simple, and some find it very difficult. It can be a bit like baring your soul to a counsellor – difficult at first, but rewarding as you spend more time doing it, and something that will open you up to new possibilities at home and in your life as you let go of your ‘stuff’.
When we are decluttering with clients, we find that we are operating in a similar role to that of a counsellor. We hear so much about clients’ memories, both good and bad, and about their families and their families’ experiences. It can really help to talk about these things to help process memories and allow items to be given away and rehomed. Memories can be fun, or they can be a reminder of painful times, and sometimes talking about those difficult memories are the most important in helping you let go of items.
If the idea of talking to someone about your life or getting them to help you in your home seems tricky, then one easy way to start decluttering, is to implement the ‘one in one out’ policy. If you buy a book, give away a book you already own. If you buy a new dress, give away a dress you own. If someone gives you a candle, give away (or quickly use!) a candle. If they give you a mug, give away a mug. People don’t know that you’ve given away something they gave you. If it gave you pleasure when you received it, it’s done its work and you can let it give someone else pleasure now.
To help other people minimise their clutter, when you give presents, give people experiences (theatre, a meal out, a cinema ticket) or things that are consumable (food, drink, flowers). There are many subscriptions you can get for consumable gifts.
If you need help to make a start, either by having a declutter plan or having someone be with you, do get in touch and we can book in an exploratory call.
When decluttering, which you might be doing as a new year’s resolution, we recommend that clients give unwanted items to charity (if they can’t easily be sold). Doing so:
Helps someone buy the item cheaper than they would new
Helps the charity get money to support the cause/s they were set up for
Helps create space in your home more quickly (if you want to sell something it hangs around for a long while before you list it and then someone comes to buy it!)
But not everything can be given to charity. For instance, cuddly toys need a CE label (making sure they meet certain standards); not all charities take electrical goods; some things aren’t good enough quality (stop and think – would you buy it?!); and they can’t sell knives or alcohol.
What do we do with the things that can’t be taken to a charity shop? Here are some ideas:
Unopened alcohol – we donate for prizes for fairs either to charities or school PTAs
Knives – any place that makes food for charity would welcome good quality knives, so you can ask around and give to them
Unopened food with 3 months on the label can go to the local food bank
Unopened food which is less than 3 months on the label or out of date but not perishable can be listed somewhere like ‘Olio’. You can give freezer food away this way too. Opened food can also be listed but obviously you need to state this.
Towels can be listed online as free items (Facebook, Olio or Freecycle are examples of places you can list things free) as dog walkers often want them. You can also list duvets and pillows there too (of course if they’re in exceptional condition, the charity shops may take them).
Furniture is often rejected by charity collection services and can be given away online as free items.
Old saucepans may have life left but not be good enough for charity so you can list them.
Stationery, crafting supplies etc can be given away on Olio or you might have a community group nearby who will take these things https://www.workandplayscrapstore.org.uk/
There are many more categories, but if in doubt, call your local charity shop first and if it is not suitable list it as a freebie on a local Facebook Group and try and give it a new home!
Have you ever had a broken-down boiler? It could be caused by all sorts of things but one of the most common is a frozen condensate pipe. And with the weather we’ve been having this is very likely. But the good news is that you don’t actually need a boiler engineer to sort this out.
And if it’s not your condensate pipe, get in touch with a recommended boiler repair company to get yourself warm again as soon as possible. No one wants to be without heating in this weather!
Don’t forget we know lots of qualified and helpful boiler engineers and other trades, so get in touch if you need a recommendation.
Happy new year! A time of new year’s resolutions for lots of people. These are good in many ways as it is like setting goals – things you want to achieve or things to make you feel better. Last year my new year’s resolution was always to eat dinner at the dinner table. I think that lasted until September, so I did well as only 8% of new year’s resolutions are kept until the end of the year. I will try harder this year! I also set a goal of hitting 5 million steps across the year (by doing approximately 14,000 steps per day). I will let you know if I did this in the comments on Instagram and Facebook!
As 80% of resolutions are already broken by the end of February you need to really want to make your resolution stick and form a new habit.
One of the best ways of making your resolution stick is to do something called habit stacking – where you put the new thing onto something else you already do, which makes it easier to stick to. We recommend James Clear’s Habit Stacking (available online or at all good bookshops!) which talks about this. Examples of this could be wanting to lose weight and cleaning your teeth directly after dinner (making you less likely to eat more), or wanting to get more steps in, so walking round the block when you get out of your car at home before you go in. You could also use a delayed gratification method and tell yourself you can’t have your coffee until you’ve done 20 minutes of walking.
Another way of making new habits stick is to get an accountability buddy. This works for walking, going to the gym etc. We have also found that for many neurodiverse people, mirroring is a good way to get things done. So if you continually put off your emails, or going to the dentist, agree to do your emails in the same room as a friend, or book an appointment for the dentist at the same time as someone else you know.
If your new year’s resolution is to get tidy and declutter, but you haven’t started by February, let us know and we’ll come and help you! And if your resolution is something else, let us know what it is!
