helping seniors live well in later life

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Tag: Grandparents

  • This week’s blog is written by Associated Property Services.

    This week’s blog is written by Associated Property Services.

    A clean, well-presented home makes a lasting impression, whether it’s for a property viewing, a new tenant, or your own family’s comfort.   As it is coming up to the busy Festive Season, here are some practical cleaning tips to keep you as sparkling as your tree!  

    The holidays are full of joy; however, they also bring extra guests, decorations, food, and, let’s face it, some mess. A bit of planning can help you stay on top of it without feeling overwhelmed. 

    Festive Cleaning Tips: 

    • Declutter Before Decorating: 
      Make space for decorations and gifts by clearing surfaces and storing away unnecessary items. 
    • Create a ‘Guest Ready’ Zone (this varies on the space you have in your home): 
      Keep a basket or hooks by the entrance for shoes, coats and bags, to avoid hallway clutter. 
    • Kitchen Organisation (the family can get involved in this one): 
    • Prep and clean as you cook 
    • Empty bins regularly to avoid odours 
    • Line trays and surfaces with baking paper or mats to make post-meal clean-up faster 
    • Daily Tidy Routine: 
      A quick 10-minute evening clean-up helps keep the home feeling fresh, even during busy hosting days. 
    • Protect Your Home: 
      Use coasters, table runners and floor mats, to minimise spills and damage from festive celebrations. 

    Pro Tip: Schedule a pre-Christmas deep clean and a post-holiday reset. This makes entertaining less stressful and helps the new year start on a fresh note. 

    About APS Cleaning Services 

    At APS Cleaning Services, we’re proud to be a family-run business based in South London, built on trust, reliability, and personal service. For the past five years, our reputation has grown through recommendations, referrals, and word of mouth, a true reflection of the care we put into every clean. 

    We believe that great cleaning starts with clear communication and a friendly approach. That’s why we provide a detailed end-of-tenancy cleaning checklist, giving you peace of mind that nothing is missed. And if something doesn’t go exactly to plan – whether a cleaner is running a little late or we notice an issue at the property – we’ll always be open and transparent with you. 

    Our services include: 

    • End-oftenancy cleaning 
    • One-off deep cleans 
    • Pre-Christmas deep cleans & post-holiday resets or parties 
    • Carpet cleaning 
    • Window cleaning 

    Whether you’re preparing a property for new tenants or getting your home sparkling for the festive season, our team is here to make the process smooth, stress-free, and reliable. Give our team a call on 07565 455836 or email us at info@associatedpropertyservices.com 

    Let’s get your property looking its best. APS does not cut corners, we clean them! 

  • The worst part of a home move

    The worst part of a home move

    For me, in my past life as a serial renter, it was always the ‘not knowing’ where I would live next.  You are given notice on your flat, or you give notice (for whatever reason) and you have a date to leave, but you don’t necessarily have somewhere to go to.  That was always stressful.   

    Last month, we helped someone who moved out of her property to have it refurbished, and she lived temporarily in rented accommodation.  We decluttered before she left, but because she was returning, she knew there was space for all the possessions that had come out. The incentive to fully declutter, therefore, was not really there.  All my clients take more than they should when downsizing as until you experience with your own eyes, all your possessions coming out of the multitude of boxes, it is hard to envisage just how much you have.   In this case, the number of boxes, even with help to unpack, has almost broken her.   

    For other clients, the worst part is the solicitors and estate agents, and all the questions; you’ve lived there a long time and you know the house is fine – why can’t your buyer see that?  Their solicitor has a duty to make sure that it ticks all the boxes for current regulations and that they are not opening a can of worms down the line.  

    In some cases, it can be the thought of ‘starting again’, especially in later life.   The happy home you had with all those lovely memories is gone.  But it is a chance to start afresh and enjoy your new place.  Take things with you that remind you of those good times, but remember that your move is happening to help you live a safe and happy life as you age, and new fun memories will be created there too.  

    Whatever your concerns with your home move, we can help support you through it and take away all the practical worries – and hopefully many of the emotional ones too! 

  • Who are we?  

    Who are we?  

    It’s quite difficult for people to know what we are and what we do, but we have years of experience in supporting people.  We are all of the following things for our clients: 

    • A PA  – thinking and planning all of the paperwork. 
    • A bookkeeper – guiding on financial queries, and we are registered with HMRC for this. 
    • A project manager – thinking, planning and strategy is a big part of what we do. 
    • A cleaner – we are often asked to help clear things up and decluttering is a dirty job.  We regularly clean out cupboards in new properties on the day of a move where the people leaving haven’t left it in a nice state.   And when we empty a storage unit, we usually take a vacuum cleaner with us. 
    • A handyman – we are not afraid of a flat pack (putting together or taking apart), or a screwdriver – even an electric one.    
    • A counsellor or therapist – talking things through is important and finding out why possessions are so loved and the stories behind them. 
    • A life coach – moving home is stressful and guidance, support and encouragement are necessary every step of the way. 
    • A solicitor – we don’t do any legal work, but we advise on many things that people need in this area and introduce them to solicitors to do the work. 

    If you need a fairy godmother, a moving home project manager, a declutterer or a later life adviser, we are those and all of the above.  Give us a call and we’ll happily talk to you about how we help.  

  • National Best Friend’s Day

    National Best Friend’s Day

    Yes, we know, there are probably too many national awareness days, but this one piqued our interest because we know that people who are lonely in retirement have a significant risk of dementia with some studies showing as much as a 25-40% increased risk.  As we get older, it is more and more important to make sure we have community around us and people that we share our thoughts and feelings with to help mitigate any risk factors.   
     
    If you have a best friend, celebrate them today.  If you have lots of very good friends, then you are very blessed, and do remember to let them know how much you appreciate them all.  If you spend a lot of time alone, or don’t speak to many people in your regular weekly activities and would like to decrease your chances of dementia, do make sure to spend time with other people and help each other combat loneliness.  

    You can find clubs and events via your local Age UK or equivalent charity, via social prescribers (ask your GP for a connection), or via church and community centres.   Often churches run events that don’t have a religious leaning, so if religion isn’t your thing you don’t need to be concerned.   

  • All of the emotions

    All of the emotions

    Claire Edwards, Registered Nurse and Eldercare Consultant, provides independent care advice to older people and their families. She gives us her thoughts here, having read a newspaper article from a family carer.  

    I recently read a letter to a national newspaper, written and sent by the wife and carer of a gentleman living with dementia. The full range of emotions expressed by her made me reflect on the fact that they are undoubtedly shared by so many spouses the length and breadth of the country – namely love, compassion, exhaustion, frustration, resentment, anger and guilt. 

    The writer is supported by visiting carers four times a day, has received counselling and been offered time out and considers herself to be better off than many people, but after 15 years she feels she is coping badly. She is as mindful of her daughter’s right to live the life she has created for herself as she is of her husband’s wish not to be cared for in a care home, and therein lie her feelings of despair. 

    The response her letter was given by the columnist was equally compelling. She describes humanity, goodness and selflessness, but also delivers a compassionate reminder of just how important it is to accept help offered by close relatives, for that close relative’s sake as well for the health and wellbeing of the care giver. She also points out that there often comes a time when 24-hour care provided by experienced and trained professionals is the right care option. 

    I couldn’t agree more. The message is clear – if you find yourself in this situation, do not be too quick to turn down additional support or close your eyes to alternative care options. You are, after all, only human and a promise made based on historic facts may well need to be revisited in the best interests of the person in need of care. 

    Claire invites anyone who finds themselves in this position and needs practical and emotional support to get in touch. 

    She can be contacted on 07415 387129 or ce@eldercareconsultant.co.uk  www.eldercareconsultant.co.uk  

  • Digital Will

    Digital Will

    Not heard of a digital will? A digital will is an inventory of your digital assets.  It can form part of a normal will or be a side letter. It is really important to have a note of all the passwords that your loved ones will need to access documents you have created and online accounts you have; also for them to be able to use your social media to let people know you have died, and even to find the location of precious photos and documents that might be required.

    You can create a document with passwords listed but this isn’t very secure.  You could create it, password protect it and just give your lasting power of attorney/s and / or executors the password.  Or you could print it out and tell them where you have hidden it.  If you have a password locker then you can nominate someone who, in the event of an emergency or loss of life, will get access.  For the one I use, they don’t have to have an account themselves at the point of nomination,  but to get access they will need to have an account.   This really is the most secure way of handing your passwords over to someone else.

    To access your loved one’s social media you may very well need to have the password. Some social media accounts have a legacy option (like Facebook), but you need to nominate someone to be the legacy contact in order to do that.   Instagram doesn’t have this option, but you can apply to memorialise or remove the account.  LinkedIn works like Instagram in this way.  So with the latter two, you can do this with a death certificate and don’t need to have the password, unless you wanted to put a final few posts up for contacts to see.

    It might be annoying gathering everything together but it will save so much time for your loved ones when they are grieving, so it is a very kind thing for you to do for them.  We wholeheartedly recommend spending time doing this.

  • Caring for parents and dealing with overwhelm

    Caring for parents and dealing with overwhelm

    This month’s guest blog is written by Kayane Watson, a certified Thrive Coach, exploring how to deal with the overwhelm of caring for elderly parents.  

    Do you often find yourself overwhelmed by the emotional demands of caring for an elderly parent while struggling to meet their expectations?

    Caring for an elderly parent is a profound act of love and commitment, but it might come with challenges that can leave you feeling drained, frustrated, or even at times guilty. Many adult children find themselves caught between fulfilling their parent’s needs and managing their own lives, unsure of how to balance everything.

    Looking after an elderly parent can evoke a range of emotions: from guilt when you can’t meet all their expectations to resentment when their demands feel overwhelming. It’s common to experience emotional fatigue, especially when juggling caregiving responsibilities with work, family, or personal needs. You might feel isolated, as though no one truly understands the weight you carry. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings without judgment—they’re a natural response to a challenging situation.

    Establishing boundaries with your elderly parent isn’t just about protecting your time or energy; it’s about preserving the relationship you have with them. Without boundaries, resentment can build, leading to tension and misunderstandings. Clear and compassionate boundaries help both you and your parent understand what is realistic, ensuring that everyone’s needs are considered. It’s not about saying “no” to them; it’s about saying “yes” to a sustainable relationship where care is balanced.

    Here are some practical tips and advice to get you attuned with your emotions and feelings as well as gradually building a healthier boundary with an elderly parent;

    Practice emotional awareness: Take time to reflect on your feelings. Journaling or speaking with a trusted friend or a professional can help you process the emotions tied to caregiving.

    Communicate openly and kindly: Use “I” statements to express your needs without blame. For example, “I feel stressed when I receive last-minute requests. Can we plan together ahead of time so we’re both prepared?”

    Set clear limits: Decide what you can and cannot do. Be honest with yourself about your capacity and communicate these limits to your parent.

    Learn the power of constructive “no”: Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. For instance, if a request is beyond your ability, you could say, “I’m unable to do that, but let’s find someone who can help.”

    Focus on self-care: Make time for activities that recharge you—whether it’s exercise, hobbies, or simply enjoying a hot drink without distractions. Your well-being is essential to providing effective care.

    Seek support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from other family members, friends, or professional caregivers. Caregiving doesn’t have to be a solo journey.

    Here’s a powerful reminder to inspire and ground you:“I am doing my best, and that is enough. By caring for myself, I am better able to care for my parent.”

    Remember, caregiving is a journey of love and dedication, but it’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. By doing so, you’re not only ensuring a healthier relationship with your parent but also preserving your emotional and physical health for the long term.

    If the above resonates and you would like some help, you can  get in touch with Kayane at linktr.ee/thrive.with.k  Kayane helps people who struggle with stress, anxiety, depression and phobias, live better by teaching them how to thrive in life by taking them through The Thrive Programme. Anyone can thrive when they understand how they can be mentally stronger, resilient and in control of their emotions. Everyone has the ability to create and live the best life possible.

  • Share the love

    Share the love

    It’s Valentine’s day today and so we would like to wish you love and kindness. 

    On February 17th, in just a few days,  it is National Random Acts of Kindness Day.  No coincidence that these two dates fall within a few days of each other.  Last year the Evening Standard gave us a fabulous list of ideas you could do on this day and we thoroughly endorse all of them.      You can have a read here. 

    If you can do one of those things for an older person in your community that would be even more special.  Helping a neighbour is definitely something you could do as a one-off, or even on a regular basis.  Or why not volunteer to help members of your community as there are so many organisations that need help from people.   You can still do random acts of kindness in addition to regular acts of kindness!

  • Transitioning to domiciliary care

    Transitioning to domiciliary care

    If you are looking at getting help from a domiciliary carer for your loved one, there are some practical things to think about once you know you will be using their service: 

    1. Declutter the rooms they will need to be in.  This is important because your loved one’s home is the carer’s work place and it needs to be safe for them too.  Extra equipment in the home may well be needed so there should be space for this, and for the carer and your loved one to be able to move around as a pair.
    2. Ensure all of your loved one’s post, filing and general paperwork are up to date.   Then, when new items arrive,  they will be easy to fileand keep on top of.  If everything is already out of order, it takes  longer to deal with and to find things when you need them.
    3. Write simple instructions for the washing machine and how / when your loved one wants clothes and bedding washed.  Not everyone is the same, so these things vary.
    4. Write simple instructions for what to throw away from the fridge.  We  know that sometimes things are discarded too soon, and other times left for too long, so it can be good to have instructions. 
    5. Write instructions on how your loved one likes tea / coffee / certain meals – the carers  may not always be the same ones due to holiday or sickness, so although most agencies will try to send the same person, this helps towards a seamless handover.
    6. Write instructions for the dishwasher.  Not everyone has one or knows how to use it. They could wash up instead so you can suggest that if you think it’s easier.
    7. Let the carers know what day the bin collection is and what things can be recycled or not.  This varies from borough to borough, and can differ in blocks of flats, so this information makes it easier for everyone. 
    8. Let the carers know if they should answer the phone or not, and what you would like them to say if  your loved one cannot speak (either indisposed or doesn’t have capacity). 
    9. Make a note if there’s anything else you would like them to do.  It could be to charge the iPad once a week, or to make sure certain lights are left on.  They won’t know if you don’t tell them.
    10. Make sure you have enough toiletries for your loved one, or set up deliveries so they can’t run out.

    Hopefully the above practical suggestions will help the transition go smoothly.

  • Relationship breakdowns

    Relationship breakdowns

    We are starting a series of guest blogs, once a month and our first one is written by Sapphira Gold who is an Associate Solicitor at Hanne & Co and she specialises in private family law.

    “As family solicitors, we often find that January brings with it a raft of enquiries about relationship breakdowns. After a busy festive period when family tensions may have arisen, this can lead to questions about what to do if those difficulties or differences can no longer be overcome and one or both feel that the marriage has sadly broken down. This article sets out some useful preliminary information if you are considering the implications and process upon separating.

    Preliminary steps

    Making the decision to end a marriage can be very stressful. It is important to have the right people around you, take time to make the decision and if you are unsure consider whether you can talk to your spouse about the issues in the marriage or consider seeking counselling. It may also be useful to discuss the decision with friends and family.

    If you think the marriage is breaking down and/or you are certain this is the right decision for you and your family, seeking early specialist legal advice is always advisable so you are aware of the implications and process from the outset.

    If you are married

    The only way to legally end a marriage is via a divorce. For the last few years, the system in England and Wales has moved to a ’no-fault’ system, whereby there is no need to prove why the marriage has broken down in order to divorce, but merely to confirm to the court that the relationship has irretrievably broken down. It is possible to apply for divorce either as a sole application or jointly with your spouse. There can be pros and cons to both depending on your circumstances and this is something to carefully consider with your solicitor prior to applying for divorce.

    Obtaining a divorce does not sever the financial ties between you. The only way to sever financial ties is via an order of the court and this runs separately but parallel to the divorce proceedings. This need not result in attended court hearings and many couples agree terms between them which are ultimately contained in an order agreed by consent. The terms can be reached through direct or solicitor negotiations or through various out of court resolution methods. It is prudent to obtain  early advice from a family law specialist about your financial circumstances, as well as the process.

    If you do not wish to divorce but you want to separate it is possible to obtain a judicial separation, which is a formal separation but you would remain married. It is also possible to agree a separation agreement. If you are separated rather than divorced, you will remain financially tied to each other and it is important to discuss the implications of this with your solicitor.

    If you are not married

    Cohabiting couples who are not married are not protected by the same law as those in marriages or civil partnerships. In these circumstances financial division will likely be decided under laws relating to property and/or trusts. If your relationship has broken down, it is advisable to seek specialist family law advice at the earliest opportunity, so you have a better understanding of your options.”

    If you have any questions regarding a relationship breakdown or any other aspect of family law, please do not hesitate to contact Sapphira: sapphira.gold@hanne.co.uk or 020 7228 0017.